My post was more concerned with online subs, as they can be percieved in different ways which can at times can lead to a negative experience for a submissive who's still discovering who she is.

In a (potential?) D/s relationship that is moving from online to real life, the Dom should know her enough to decide if she is genuine about her desire to submit to him. Wannabe girls that like only certain parts of S&M - or what they envision due to all the fantasies and exaggerations - or simply the attention one can recieve from it - can be spotted out.

And though you might disagree with me, you Can be dominant and not have kinky sex. Its just not as fun to most >.> So i dont think its about the sex really, its about the kind of commitment and honesty one is willing to have in a D/s relationship. Also, how much control does she want to give, and in what aspects of her life.