First a quick intro.

My name is Adrian, I am 23 years old living in Southern California. I am mere novice in the BDSM world but very interested. Here is my dilema.
This girl who I have know for the last 6 years who I am very close with (took her to Austria with me) and have had a sexual relationship with for the last 4 years is very much into BDSM. She is a very neutral person in live, one would have trouble seeing if she was a sub or a dom, however in the bedroom she always is the Sub. For the most of our time our sexual relationship has been very vanilla like, but over the last year or so it has steadily been going more and more toward BDSM. In the last few months she has dressed up for me on her own accord without me asking her of it at least 4 times completly taking me offguard when I enter her house and she is sitting there wearing a corset a skirt and not much else. And usually during those times she is even more submissive then most times. When it comes to our pure BDSM sessions I am always very careful to make sure things dont get out of hand. My very last desire is to hurt her beyond what she can take. We use all the rules of safe words and gestures if she wants to be untied. So far our BDSM play is mostly bondage, the use of a flogger, spankings, rough sex, and of course me taking the role as her "master". Two weeks ago something changed. She asked me to be more of a master to her, more in charge more of a dominant. At first I thought this would enhance our relationship. Mind you we are not boyfriend girlfriend and both free to sleep with whomever we want. So I figured this was a step toward something more serious. This is where my problem first started. I can't consider myself a true Dom. Perhaps its the training I am missing or something else, but I just dont know how to behave myself as a dom outside of the bedroom. Yesterday evening a fight broke out and basically she told me she does not want me to be her dom anymore. Seeing as how BDSM is mutual power play and if she does not want this I have to accept. However I do know this is because I just dont know how to act how to properly punish. Its like I was brought into a foreign country that I had read about but never lived in. So now In my hopes to learn to become a Dom I guess I am seeking out help here from a BDSM community. Feel free to leave remarks thoughts anything. Just to also note our relationship is not over, but for now our BDSM relationship is on hold.

Thanks for reading

Adrian