My humble greetings to the moderators and all the forum members,

Hi! I am a newbie around. Still a very very young, innocent and naive male hanging around.

I have been long 'interested' if not 'addicted' to BDSM scenes, especially sex and submission from Kink.com. Watching all those videos simply turns me on. I simply felt the urge to try it out on someone.

However! I am a rather mild person. I am usually said by ppl to be cute, kind, sweet, caring, loving, patient and probably a too good hearted kind of a person. Even during my years acting as a leader in a society back in high school, I always lead by example and love instead of commanding and bossing around with ppl. Surprisingly, I am able to get more people to listen to me rather than the other leaders. However, I felt that I couldn't do all the 'perverted' actions on whoever my future subs are (God bless them). For one, because I think I love them so much that I am not so willing to do so on them. Second, because I am still a virgin and know basically nothing about sex. Thirdly, I think I am not good enough or worthy to even attempt to be a dom because I am not at all good at it. Fourth, I get shy and blush very often around girls, to the point that I will most of the time spill,break,crush,slip and all sorts of embarassing things to happen to me. I couldn't seem to be able to be a macho person around girls.

Despite being a little like a sub character. I somehow get turned off very very easily having the feeling that a guy is dominated or controlled by a girl. Not that I am discriminating gender or anything, but I feel its more appropriate in my own opinion for a guy to be dominating a girl.

Please kindly leave some advise for me. Either by forum or even private messages. Do you think I should just watch those vids and just get off like I am used to? Or you think I should go ahead and attempt to find someone liked-minded to try BDSM with? Or perhaps I should be a sub and learn up the ways of being a dom?

On the side note, been having fun reading through forums! Thank you all for contributing ideas here.