Wannabe subs - an undiscussed topic?

[fantassy]

I've been enjoying the discussion in this thread because I wonder if I am merely a Wannabe sub. I don't know. I do know I am very happy with my current d/s online relationship, which has lasted for 7 months now. Although it is online/voice, it does spill over into real life within the parameters we established 7 months ago. I suppose I could lie and role play rather than actually do as instructed since He isn't present to monitor, but really, what would be the point of that? I don't see why the assumption is so often made that online subs lie and merely claim they are following directions. Do Doms assume that r/l sub lie about completing tasks when the Doms are not home to monitor? So in the sense that I really do what I claim to do, I am not a wanna be sub.

Nevertheless, I am not sub 24/7, and have no desire to be sub even a majority of the time. I am smart, confident, conscientious, successful and ambitious. In no area of life do I NEED someone to tell me what to do. In most areas of life I would be repulsed by someone's attempt to control me. However, in a few areas of life I DESIRE and ENJOY submitting to my Dom's control. Nothing feels as good. Does this make me a wannabe?

I feel that, and my Dom tells me that, when I submit, I submit fully. But I am often not in "sub mode." Does this make me a wannabe? My Dom claims that he gets the double benefit of enjoying His sub fantassy and the independent ME. Does this make me a wannabe? I honestly don't know.

fantassy

[Ozme52]

If you're not pretending, then you're partaking. And that makes you as real as anyone could want. You and your dom have discussed the boundaries of your roles. So there are no pretenses. And that makes you as real as anyone could want.

IMOO of course.

[TomOfSweden]

To help provide solution to the following request



I quote wikipedia
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Glossary_of_BDSM


We can apply that in this instance to submissives.

As far as having D/s in a sexual or non sexual context, or online vs offline.

That is simply a matter of preference. One or the other is not better that the other. To claim it is, well that undermines the pricipals of BDSM.

V/R
ID

Ok, if we chose to accept that defintion then there's another problem. A person can be very knowledgable about "BDSM-theory" but still haven't a clue what they themselves are into. And then there's a lot of, what I would define as "BDSM-nerds" who know "everything". It's just that people who've developed as Doms, (or subs) completly outside the BDSM scene, just like me have problems relating to some of the commonly accepted truths.

[_ID_]

Ok, if we chose to accept that defintion then there's another problem. A person can be very knowledgable about "BDSM-theory" but still haven't a clue what they themselves are into. And then there's a lot of, what I would define as "BDSM-nerds" who know "everything". It's just that people who've developed as Doms, (or subs) completly outside the BDSM scene, just like me have problems relating to some of the commonly accepted truths.

How do you express what it feels like, unless you know? How do you express the experience (sights, sounds smells), unless you have seen it or been apart of it?

I beleive these tidbits of information apply to the knowledge question. One can know what it is like to have someone online do what you tell them, thus making online knowledge just as viable as real time.

Additionaly, as has been stated, wannabe can be as simple as the context in how it is used.

V/R
ID