Wannabe subs - an undiscussed topic?

[Daes]

“I find this, to be frank, too black and white a definition.”

I did say majority, I was careful there… I know its not the case all the time, only was referring to it to clarify what I was defining as easy. Power exchange can range in different forms, but I am avid that it cannot happen online for various reasons- not to say that an online relationship can be worthwhile and meaningful***.

“All of your post is quite clearly geared from the thinking that if it asin't 24/7, it's not quite good enough for you.”

Ack.. not the tone I wanted to assume… Again I wanted to point out how I thought online was easy because you cannot have that kind of control that often, theres not as much responsibility involved, as majority of the subs time- she/he takes care of herself.

When I mean 24/7 its not necessarily having to do with what can and cannot be done- rather having the presence of your Dom, being able to be controlled because the Dom is there. And the Quotes made only to reinforce my idea that online relationships are significantly easier than real life.

I’m only saying that.. I don’t believe enjoying whipping someone or having cyber slaves makes one a dom, and I don’t believe wanting to give yourself to every man and call him ‘Sir’ makes one a sub. I don’t think it is that simple. Theres more Complexities to domination and submission, its not about putting on a façade to give one an ego boost or get attention. It’s a way of life.

My post wasn’t meant to offend or put anyone down- only to argue why I believe online relationships do not carry the same complications as real ones. Fantasies and Power exchange are for different people, and they can be equally damaging and dangerous for the wrong person.

I’ve had a few online.. one tried moving into real life (2 years long) and that was… not pleasant…

[Timberwolf]

I see where you're coming from. No real worries here. It's been an interesting debate, so far. Yo udo make some very good points.

"I’m only saying that.. I don’t believe enjoying whipping someone or having cyber slaves makes one a dom, and I don’t believe wanting to give yourself to every man and call him ‘Sir’ makes one a sub. I don’t think it is that simple. Theres more Complexities to domination and submission, its not about putting on a façade to give one an ego boost or get attention. It’s a way of life. "

I actually agree with this 100%. This journey has been the most complex thing I've ever undertaken.

[fantassy]

I've been enjoying the discussion in this thread because I wonder if I am merely a Wannabe sub. I don't know. I do know I am very happy with my current d/s online relationship, which has lasted for 7 months now. Although it is online/voice, it does spill over into real life within the parameters we established 7 months ago. I suppose I could lie and role play rather than actually do as instructed since He isn't present to monitor, but really, what would be the point of that? I don't see why the assumption is so often made that online subs lie and merely claim they are following directions. Do Doms assume that r/l sub lie about completing tasks when the Doms are not home to monitor? So in the sense that I really do what I claim to do, I am not a wanna be sub.

Nevertheless, I am not sub 24/7, and have no desire to be sub even a majority of the time. I am smart, confident, conscientious, successful and ambitious. In no area of life do I NEED someone to tell me what to do. In most areas of life I would be repulsed by someone's attempt to control me. However, in a few areas of life I DESIRE and ENJOY submitting to my Dom's control. Nothing feels as good. Does this make me a wannabe?

I feel that, and my Dom tells me that, when I submit, I submit fully. But I am often not in "sub mode." Does this make me a wannabe? My Dom claims that he gets the double benefit of enjoying His sub fantassy and the independent ME. Does this make me a wannabe? I honestly don't know.

fantassy

[Ozme52]

If you're not pretending, then you're partaking. And that makes you as real as anyone could want. You and your dom have discussed the boundaries of your roles. So there are no pretenses. And that makes you as real as anyone could want.

IMOO of course.