There is NO substitution for r/l!

[Mistress Fiera]

Fetlife is how you hook up people. It is how you find the parties. Forget the friends and forget the requests if it bothers you. I am trying to hook you people up with r/l. The EVENTS section for your city is where you want to look.

For many many years I was on this site and I thought it began and ended here. I thought that people who got to get out there and have real life were rare and special. Now I realize that ANYONE CAN HAVE R/L!!! I am so dissapointed that in all the years I was on this site that no one ever said, yes you too can have this and here is how. Frankly I got back on here just to tell people how to do it. It is not just for some of us. So basically that is my message.

Also, if you think it is anything like collarme then you are wrong. There are no events for collarme just like here there are no events. This site is just for meeting like minds. It is pretend land. Those of us who are living BDSM know that you have to know where the munches are being held so that you can get the addresses to the dungeons. Sometimes you even need to be sponsored like with EROS. That is a damn good group btw. But there are other groups like ClubFEM and HEAT and if you are in Houston like me then you can go also to KAF and SAF and Lyon's Den and even HPEP! People there are so many groups out there you would be surprised and all of the groups I mentioned are in Houston alone. There are even more than that! So just imagine what there is in your neck of the woods.

I hope that someone reading this will find a real experience. That is the only wish I have. I just wanted to tell you that it does not end here and that Fetlife is a way to find the groups and the events where you live. That's all.

[denuseri]

Fetlife is how you hook up people. It is how you find the parties. Forget the friends and forget the requests if it bothers you. I am trying to hook you people up with r/l. The EVENTS section for your city is where you want to look.

Never needed before, why should it be suddenly a requirement now...all one has to do is google up the name of one's desired city and then type, munch, bdsm-group or club or event or dungeon to get a full listing of whats in their area (as opposed to what is only offered via fet).

I never needed any website let alone fetlife to find the parties and hookup in real life hon....type bdsm munch, or party, or club, or group or dungeon and the name of the desired group and you get a "full" listing too as opposed to just what fetlife has to offer btw.

For many many years I was on this site and I thought it began and ended here. I thought that people who got to get out there and have real life were rare and special. Now I realize that ANYONE CAN HAVE R/L!!! I am so dissapointed that in all the years I was on this site that no one ever said, yes you too can have this and here is how. Frankly I got back on here just to tell people how to do it. It is not just for some of us. So basically that is my message.

Sounds like you didn't fully explore everything there was to offer here then, since you missed all the threads about how to safely contact the real life practitioners in your area.

Also, if you think it is anything like collarme then you are wrong. There are no events for collarme just like here there are no events. This site is just for meeting like minds. It is pretend land.

If you think the library here is just about "pretend land" than you really missed the boat when you were here.

Those of us who are living BDSM know that you have to know where the munches are being held so that you can get the addresses to the dungeons.

Actually most reputable dungeons are plainly listed and easy to call directly and get with their management to arrange and or make arrangements for admission and you don't have to even attend a munch if your don't wish too.

Sometimes you even need to be sponsored like with EROS. That is a damn good group btw. But there are other groups like ClubFEM and HEAT and if you are in Houston like me then you can go also to KAF and SAF and Lyon's Den and even HPEP! People there are so many groups out there you would be surprised and all of the groups I mentioned are in Houston alone. There are even more than that! So just imagine what there is in your neck of the woods.

I hope that someone reading this will find a real experience. That is the only wish I have. I just wanted to tell you that it does not end here and that Fetlife is a way to find the groups and the events where you live. That's all.

I always encourage people to go out and find real life experience as well...only I don't insist that the only or best way be by going through any one website or commercially orientated third party while at the same time slamming the very site Im a member of and everyone on it.

Though another member said it better in the following thread:

http://www.bdsmlibrary.com/forums/sh...767#post869767

" We are: People from every occupation, Nurses, Police, Soldiers, Sailors, Secretaries, more occupations than you can list.
We are people from every walk of life.
We are people from almost all of the nations where BDSM will not get you burned at the stake (and a few from places that would LOL)
We are people that have experience ranging from a few months to 50 years.
We are people who are out in public everyday.
We are people who have never left their bedrooms.
We are people who share our experiences and knowledge with each other and value that access because no one person can have experience in everything.

We are players,
We are lurkers,
We are the homebound living their electronic fantasies.
We are people who care enough to help the new find themselves, and the old dogs to learn new tricks.
We are an electronic family,
We are......

The Library"

[delish]

For many many years I was on this site and I thought it began and ended here. I thought that people who got to get out there and have real life were rare and special. Now I realize that ANYONE CAN HAVE R/L!!! I am so dissapointed that in all the years I was on this site that no one ever said, yes you too can have this and here is how. Frankly I got back on here just to tell people how to do it. It is not just for some of us. So basically that is my message.

********(snipped by delish********

I hope that someone reading this will find a real experience. That is the only wish I have. I just wanted to tell you that it does not end here and that Fetlife is a way to find the groups and the events where you live. That's all.

I think it's totally good to make people aware of the fact that there are all sorts of outlets to bring BDSM into offline life, but I think it's odd that you didn't know it was within reach. Is this a common misconception? As soon as I learned there was a name for what I wanted, I knew I wouldn't be happy without it in my life. It was an actual goal. I was in an online relationship for years and I knew I'd found the One for me, but I never felt like I wasn't special enough for it to move offline, and I knew that there was a local group. Maybe it's just that the resources I used to learn about kink are no longer as readily available or open, but I never saw this as a fantasy only.

[Austerus]

Fetlife is how you hook up people. It is how you find the parties. Forget the friends and forget the requests if it bothers you. I am trying to hook you people up with r/l. The EVENTS section for your city is where you want to look.

It's _a_ way that you can look up people. I'm guessing that many people here are already connected with r/l scenes to the extent that they want to be. I used to be a lot more active locally, but I'm not really into public use or sharing, and there is a significant portion of people "in the scene" who are kind of gross.

For many many years I was on this site and I thought it began and ended here. I thought that people who got to get out there and have real life were rare and special. Now I realize that ANYONE CAN HAVE R/L!!! I am so dissapointed that in all the years I was on this site that no one ever said, yes you too can have this and here is how. Frankly I got back on here just to tell people how to do it. It is not just for some of us. So basically that is my message.

I'm sorry you didn't know in all those years about munches or local events I can imagine how much of a wonderful revelation that must have been. It's awesome when people find things that make them happy

Also, if you think it is anything like collarme then you are wrong. There are no events for collarme just like here there are no events. This site is just for meeting like minds. It is pretend land. Those of us who are living BDSM know that you have to know where the munches are being held so that you can get the addresses to the dungeons. Sometimes you even need to be sponsored like with EROS. That is a damn good group btw. But there are other groups like ClubFEM and HEAT and if you are in Houston like me then you can go also to KAF and SAF and Lyon's Den and even HPEP! People there are so many groups out there you would be surprised and all of the groups I mentioned are in Houston alone. There are even more than that! So just imagine what there is in your neck of the woods.

My neck of the woods is San Francisco and the Bay Area. Sadly I'm pretty sure San Francisco doesn't have any kind of BDSM scene, and so I will be stuck in pretend land forever.

I hope that someone reading this will find a real experience. That is the only wish I have. I just wanted to tell you that it does not end here and that Fetlife is a way to find the groups and the events where you live. That's all.

Does Fetlife have a membership cost?

[VaAugusta]

My neck of the woods is San Francisco and the Bay Area. Sadly I'm pretty sure San Francisco doesn't have any kind of BDSM scene, and so I will be stuck in pretend land forever.

Lawl. cannot tell if joke.