Oh my Lovely question.

Well I can answer that with confidence, after my experience this year.

Now my experience is online, so far- r/l not til next year. (that'll give you something to think about!)

For me now, the overwhelming thing is the connection. I had a young lady to play with for some months up til early this year. We did amazing things, things I'll probably never do again.

It was real nice, but something was missing.

I then met someone who began as a friend, & we sort of stumbled into playing a little without too much structure or planning.

The connection was what did it for me- the experience I had with her was total.

To play at D/s with someone you care so much about, who you dream about night & day is on a different level to anything I've ever experienced.

So- connection. Nothing else matters....

Tojo