Are switches confused or is everybody else?

[beeks]

Given what I have observed of the BDSM community in the past few years, I'm actually quite shocked that the blame regarding a dubious attitude toward switches is placed on other people's close mindedness. Some of the most amazingly intelligent and open-minded people I have ever met have been in this community and so I find it hard to swallow that the fault lies entirely with them.

I think that like any in-between label, switch is something that is very easy for those who are new to the path to grab on to. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not saying every switch is a confused noob, but I can definitely see the attraction for newcomers in a very intimidating world to cling to a label that isn't too confining and allows room for change.

I don't define myself as anything at this point because I am still of unsure of that myself. I would hate to rush into calling myself a switch just because I have many traits of both dommes and subs and have my moments where I enjoy both, and in so doing, just perpetuate the whole switches are confused thing.

[thir]

I don't define myself as anything at this point because I am still of unsure of that myself. I would hate to rush into calling myself a switch just because I have many traits of both dommes and subs and have my moments where I enjoy both, and in so doing, just perpetuate the whole switches are confused thing.

You would not do that. The whole point is that having more than one urge is not confusion, it is just having more than one urge.

Nobody gets to ration it.

[markolexus]

Yes why not, I guess I am a bit confused still. I started off - almost too many years ago to remember - being a total dom. I think because that was my stereotype of how a male (drawn to bdsm) should be. So later a gf suggested she topped and out of curiosity I tried subbing. That was great although puzzling.

A marriage to a Domme did not work because we were both in far too much of a Dom mindset - she's now happy with a much more malleable guy. And I know I can't live permanently with an out and out Domme. Probably I'm about 60% sub nowadays and have two ladies I see - one domme and one switch.

We do not switch within a session or even a week - it's a longer timeframe and is a kind of reciprocal moodswing. And it's really difficult explaining this to anyone in advance so I don't blame everyone else if they are confused by the endless changeability of switches.