I am confused

[Ozme52]

I had set a hard limit more than once right from the beginning. Not okay with multiple partners from either of us. Thank you, I should have been more specific. Although I am new to the lifestyle, I am very aware of what is right and wrong on a human level. It was the consensual part that felt breached as I had not agreed to this. I think I needed a confirmation that what I felt was not being unfair. That I wasn't 'missing' something along the way. Thank you so much for your help.

I'll assume you're referring to the breach of your agreements and not poly itself here.

Monogamy is not in and of itself a human norm. It's a societal norm that is currently prevalent. And not even necessarily practiced widely... but certainly is espoused widely. Many who claim monogamy are merely serial monogamists.

There are a lot of good threads within these forums and elsewhere where one can gain insights to the issues of poly v. monogamy and how they play into bdsm.