Safe words for online play

[Alex Bragi]

That’s a very good and interesting question, Ma am.

Well, I have to be honest, when I first read your post my initial reaction was to think, the same as Oz, but then I thought about it a little more. Many dominant and their submissives take their on-line relationships very serious, and so they should, since D/s play( r.t. or v.t.) is so often much more about mental rather than physical control. Imagine a situation where a submissive was commanded to do something that was, without the dominant's knowledge, unsafe or beyond the limits of what they were willing to do. Isn’t the quickest and simplest way to alert the dominant, without unnecessary interruption, a safe word?

Oz, I take your point, but I think the problem with "No" and "Stop" is that while they're sometimes a part of a submissive's regular vocabulary, "Please, stop whipping my poor little tender ass" .."No, please, don't..." R.t. or v.t. there could be confusion if these were also "safe words". I think too that "No!" and "Stop!" could be a bit of mood killer, generally, in the middle of a hot and heavy cyber session.

[Ozme52]

That’s a very good and interesting question, Ma am.

Well, I have to be honest, when I first read your post my initial reaction was to think, the same as Oz, but then I thought about it a little more. Many dominant and their submissives take their on-line relationships very serious, and so they should, since D/s play( r.t. or v.t.) is so often much more about mental rather than physical control. Imagine a situation where a submissive was commanded to do something that was, without the dominant's knowledge, unsafe or beyond the limits of what they were willing to do. Isn’t the quickest and simplest way to alert the dominant, without unnecessary interruption, a safe word?

Oz, I take your point, but I think the problem with "No" and "Stop" is that while they're sometimes a part of a submissive's regular vocabulary, "Please, stop whipping my poor little tender ass" .."No, please, don't..." R.t. or v.t. there could be confusion if these were also "safe words". I think too that "No!" and "Stop!" could be a bit of mood killer, generally, in the middle of a hot and heavy cyber session.

I think the issue is whether or not the submissive is in trouble... physically or emotionally. A safeword averts the potential for damage. Online just doesn't (IMO) have the danger unless the sub is willing to abuse herself. I avoid that ahead of time by admonishing them to tell me if I've stepped over a boundary.

The "mood" is irrelevant in such cases. Again, my opinion.

[Guest 91108]

I think the issue is whether or not the submissive is in trouble... physically or emotionally. A safeword averts the potential for damage. Online just doesn't (IMO) have the danger unless the sub is willing to abuse herself. I avoid that ahead of time by admonishing them to tell me if I've stepped over a boundary.

The "mood" is irrelevant in such cases. Again, my opinion.

hrm.. as my online gets very intense in many aspects.. I think this would have to be false. There is danger in online -- mental and emotional danger is just as valid. Words and thoughts can trigger much. I think the online safeword is necessary and I have pushed past online subs far enough to have to use them. It's not a negative thing for them to do so as I see it's part of what I'm to do .. to get them to push to new level or limits..

The Dom who doesn't stop ... well ... IMO .. others will eventually rethink what that person is.