Yeah, I know. It's my wonderful abrasive personality. Something for me to work on. But that said, I think you are wrong. I'm a dom and I want to please my slave. But the catch here is that pleasing a sub/slave is different than pleasing in a vanilla way. Or to formulate it differently, he does want you to be happy, doesn't he? He has to figure out how to do this. Social pressure tells us what to do, which doesn't work in a BDSM setting. I've yet to meet somebody with a fetish for being miserable...no wait, I have. But that wasn't in the BDSM scene.