Quote Originally Posted by Mnemonic
Any suggestions what to do??
Gary and Tour Guide have dropped in with some great words and wisdom.

Probably the most important thing here is her desire to face and overcome the trauma and fear. She is the one who must choose to do this before you can help her at all. If she does you need to be ready to support, help and put in the time to communicate. Trust is difficult to establish under the best of conditions.

Getting her to talk honestly with you about her fears is important. As is finding someone for her to talk with that has over come trauma and fear. jeangle was my first thought too, but there others here as well. Also sharing with her how you have overcome your fears and the reasons for them can be useful.

As Gary noted she also needs to understand that she needs to satisfy you in the relationship as well. For her to do that, at least in the beginning, you will need to find ways to do so that do not involve bondage. Look around here to see if there are some things that you enjoy and share them with her, get her to do it as well. Sit down with yourself and make notes on how these can be used to establish trust with her and then act on that. Don't forget to reevaluate from time to time. One of the things I tell new couples in the lifestyle is to look for the "common ground", the things that interest both of you and start there. While bondage isn't on the list I bet you have some things that are.

Tour Guide's suggestion of non-bondage rope play is a great one. Find some soft and pretty rope and show her how it can grace her flesh and provide wonderful stimulation to the skin as well as the mind. She needs to learn that rope is not just a tool for rape and torture but, in the hands of a caring Dom, a tool that expresses love, trust and respect.

If both of you are willing to take the time to work through the trauma and fear the reward can be great.