When I entered the lifestyle, I was subbing. While it was difficult for me to accept that there were things I needed that didn't not fall within the norm, I believe that it was more difficult for me to come to terms with my intriniscally Dominant and yes, sadistic nature. Dominance came rather easily, but it was difficult for me to accept that I enjoyed and got off on causing someone pain. As someone who is kind, generous and looks out for the welfare of others personally and professionally, this was a grand leap.

However, once I found this place, I am at peace....more so than when I was subbing.

I do believe that I began as a submissive because what I was reading, learning and discovering drew me to the lifestyle and based on my gender, submitting was the "natural" first step. Of course, I now realize that was my vanilla thinking guiding me.

It is a comfort to be who and what I am freely and without reservation, but has taken several years to get to this place.