I know for me it was difficult to come to grips with some of the aspects of this lifestyle. Being generally dominant was easy for me as my childhood dictated that I had to be (parental issues that don't need to be talked about here). But coming to terms with getting off on causing pain and humiliation was difficult. I was raised to be respectful and honorable to all and I felt like something was wrong with me. It wasn't until I fully realized that I was only giving what was wanted and wasn't forcing myself on anyone that I could begin to look at it as a positive thing. I couldn't say which is more difficult (submission or dominance) as I have had conversations with submissive people who have had the same problems. They feel like they are sick in some way to want someone to inflict pain and humiliation and whatever else on them. I do believe gender has an affect, but not necessarily a static one. What I mean is some women may find it easy to slip into submission because of their culture, but others in the same culture may feel like they are betraying themselves and their fellow women by being submissive. The same goes for men. Submitting has got to be difficult for a male in most cultures that I know of because of the expectations placed on us. Being dominant can also be a problem for both sexes because of preconceived notions. Many dominants go through what I went (and occasionally still do go) through, doubting themselves and feeling like they are doing something morally wrong. I don't think there is an easy answer to this question and as you suggest it is a journey each of us must make and fulfill to our personal satisfaction.

Here's to the journey. :