Quote Originally Posted by duktig flicka
"Vive la difference!" sounds to me like an expression in support of individuality and diversity. It appears to me that you support men and women having to supress their individuality to conform to stereotypes that are wholly unnatural, so I don't understand why you'd say such a phrase. I would have used that phrase to express support for individuality, not conformity.

In olden days, when women were pregnant for their whole lives, sure those stereotypes had a necessary function. But modern civilization and technology means we can be ourselves! We don't have to conform anymore! Isn't that a beautiful thing? Such a shame to waste it, I think.

According to what was written in the "Why the 24 Hour BDSM?" thread, it seems that you, too, believe that people, or women at least, should also conform to stereotypes. I believe it was you who wrote:

Quote Originally Posted by duktig flicka
EDIT: Just to add, another reason this is putting a strain on me is that many people have put forth that bdsm is anti-feminist. I usually argue with them that bdsm is simply a sexual fetish that has no reason to negatively affect an otherwise egalitarian relationship. My argument seems to fall flat on its face now and my level of comfort with bdsm is flitting away as I start to get nervous that I'm part of something oppressive.
It seems by that statement alone, that you believe woman should fit into a naturally assumed "role" established by feminists, and suppress their natural tendencies to submit or dominate, depending on the situation and how you choose to view feminism.

Modern civilization and technology mean we can be ourselves, and that we don't have to conform??? You don't really believe that, do you? If anything, we are under more pressure now than ever to act like and look like everyone else thinks we should. Just using your feminism example once again should prove that, at least.

As I have mentioned in my "Attack of the Clones" thread and in my "The Absurdity of Things" thread, people are expected to conform these days. Men are expected to be subservient to women now. Women are expected to be "empowered." Everyone is expected to maintain someone else's idea of beauty. Even on a smaller scale, we're expected to wear the "right" clothes, have the "right" job, engage in "normal" sex, and use the "right hygeine products.

If being even remotely involved in the BDSM/kink lifestyle should have taught you one thing the very first time you ever had a spanking, or you were tied down to have sex, it's that WE are the non-conformists. Not the feminists, not the religious right, not the politicians.

We stand in rebellion with other groups like leather fetishists, crossdressers, gays, trans-sexuals, and other "abnormal" minorities. We are the ones that are rebelling against the societal norms now.

Feminists may preach that a woman is an idiot to "give up her power and submit," but that just shows the ignorance of the feminist way of thinking. The submissive is, and always has been, the one with the real power in a BDSM relationship. It is on HER (gender specification used to prove this point) word that any scene stops immediately. It is on HER word that a contract is agreed. It is on HER word that her limits are set. The submissives have the power, regardless of sex. The "giving up of power and control" is only assumed by the nature of the relationship. The actuality of the situation is much, much different.

So, I do not agree that we are expected to be individuals in this day and age. We are supposed to be replicas of one another in body, thought, and deed, and the people that are shaping us are the "normal" groups. If we were supposed to be individuals, we'd actually think for ourselves, wouldn't we?