Twisting wildly bound up in your strings,
A caged bird that forgot how to sing,
Chained by a love that is (are these two words necessary?)so close to hate,
I need (show this "need" with a descriptive analogy or word [struggle, fight, strive ect]instead of telling the reader to feel need) to break free before it’s too late,
Mirror on the wall but (is "but" necessary…replace with a comma instead?)who do I see?
The reflection there is no longer me,
A self image of someone [B]that[/B](who)I despise,
My reality shattered my(repeats of "my" too close together draws away from the imagery) personality dies.
Love is my pleasure but my pleasure is pain,
My struggle against the(replace "the" with a descriptive word of this darkness to emphasize the feeling) darkness in vain,
I love you enough to become what you see,
Can you love me enough to allow me to be me? (ask yourself if this last me is necessary and if the poem sounds good without it)The poet inside me is drawing her last breath,
Please Don’t allow my passion an untimely death.

The poem is an excellent description of lost song, lost voice, lost freedom, lost feeling, struggle and compromise to gasping slow death of soul...fettered and forgotten...pleading to be seen and touched. Thank you.

softest hugs
~echoes~