Scening in public

[Ranai]

Have you done it?
Are you thinking about doing it?
What's your opinion about it?

...send someone, or be sent on humilating tasks.
Observe dominance/submission protocol in a restaurant.
Use submissive positions and body language.
Walk around sporting a collar with D-rings or other accessories. Restraints, chastity belts, inserts.
Use a remote control for hidden toys that buzz...

Dynamics – What's the purpose of the public? Do you want something to be noticed? Is there a challenge to keep something hidden? Is it the thought 'If they knew what I know...'

Knowhow – Preparation, toys, action. What and how?

Ethics – It's not possible to get prior consent from accidental passers-by. People who don't know you from a bar of soap don't know anything about your relationship. What's okay for a public scene? Where are the limits?

Local Laws – What do you need keep in mind where you live, to keep the cops out of your scene?

Emotions – What's the special thrill of a public scene?

Your ideas for and about BDSM in public...

This thread is a sort of generalised spin-off from part of the discussion in Tracy Lawrence Banned from Oregon Airwaves

[ProjectEuropa]

Have you done it?
Are you thinking about doing it?
What's your opinion about it?

...send someone, or be sent on humilating tasks.
Observe dominance/submission protocol in a restaurant.
Use submissive positions and body language.
Walk around sporting a collar with D-rings or other accessories. Restraints, chastity belts, inserts.
Use a remote control for hidden toys that buzz...

I haven't done it and whether I would do something in public, depends, that is not to say I wouldn't do something outside. I certainly wouldn't do something overtly sexual in public, not because I don't dare but out of consideration for other people who inhabit public space. I might do none sexual activities, depending on what they are and I don't mind the public thinking that I'm nuts as long as I am not being generally offensive to reasonable people.

Dynamics – What's the purpose of the public? Do you want something to be noticed? Is there a challenge to keep something hidden? Is it the thought 'If they knew what I know...'

I suppose it's exhibitionism and/or the excitement the fear of getting caught generates. My guess is there are people who want to get caught and those that don't. There is a fine line between the two. However if I caught someone being sexual I wouldn't be outraged or scandalised, I would just think what sad and pathetic people they are to get a thrill by exposing themselves to me.

Ethics – It's not possible to get prior consent from accidental passers-by. People who don't know you from a bar of soap don't know anything about your relationship. What's okay for a public scene? Where are the limits?

I think none sexual activities are fine and if someone thinks you are nuts, let them. I mentioned in another post where I was handed a note by a man in Amsterdam that read 'I am a pathetic pervert.' Only later I assumed it was some form of humiliation game. It was inoffensive and I think the public that weren't baffled were amused. I don't see a problem with that sort of thing.

Local Laws – What do you need keep in mind where you live, to keep the cops out of your scene?

If you are worried about the cops don't do a public scene. That being said in many European cities you can dress outrageously and be quite overtly sexual without inviting arrest. You might end up wanting the cops to protect you from yobbish youths!

Emotions – What's the special thrill of a public scene?

I suppose it's exposing yourself to public ridicule or scandal, the daring and the excitement. Last time I went to the Birmingham Fetish Fair a couple of months ago, I followed a slave in red vinyl vest and hot pants being led on a lead through the town centre by a leather clad Dom. The reaction of the public was to look round and giggle so I guess one can more or less do anything in public as long as it's not overtly sexual.

[Tang]

There is a kind of halfway step. Anyone who is lucky enough to live in a town with a carnival, a love parade, a gay pride rally, depending on your sexuality, has an opportunity to dress and behave in a way which might raise questions at any other time. If I see someone on a leash at an event of this kind, even with my tastes, I am less likely to see it as anything unusual than if it was an ordinary Saturday around the shops. Many other people are dressed exotically, and to some degree you feel transported to a different place anyway. That is one thing about carnival, the rules are supposed to be turned on their head. I guess it will vary between cities, but it might be a good first step if you want to try something in public without everything coming down on your head.

[csr]

I suppose it's exhibitionism and/or the excitement the fear of getting caught generates. My guess is there are people who want to get caught and those that don't. There is a fine line between the two. However if I caught someone being sexual I wouldn't be outraged or scandalised, I would just think what sad and pathetic people they are to get a thrill by exposing themselves to me.

I agree with this division between the "want to get caught, or at least risk it" people and the "not even excited by the chance of it" people. I am definitely in the latter category.

I guess people have widely different reasons for scening in public. For some there is an exhibitionist element where they find it exciting to have people know what they're doing. I know this is an element for some when it comes to play parties too. Of course this isn't in "public," but it is doing something erotic in front of others. For me the attraction of a play party is just being with kindred spirits--I could do the same stuff at home and it doesn't really do anything special for me to show it off.

However, scening in public where nobody knows but the two of you what is happening I like. Not from an exhibitionist POV of course, I wouldn't do anything that gave any risk of getting caught/seen. I just like the idea of doing naughty things in normal everyday situations. Wearing "stuff" under everyday clothes then going out to a club (not fet night, of course)--things like that.

[Ranai]

What's the special thrill of a public scene? Another one of those 'simple' questions with a multitude of possibilities, it seems.


Show off: Proudly display one's obedient submissive. Proudly display one's obedience.

When there is an element of exhibitionism, it's not necessarily overtly sexual. It could be the DS aspect that is being displayed in the public sphere.

The precondition is to be 'out' about this aspect of the relationship. Desire to let others become aware of what one is up to. Definitely not everyone's thing! First and foremost it is private, after all.

Unfortunately, scening in public can also involve being misunderstood. Or meeting not just incomprehension but antagonism. Or encountering people who think one is 'sad and pathetic'. I agree that it's not a good idea to do overtly sexual things in public view. But the not-so-sexual stuff could be met with such reactions too.


The carnival & parade idea is interesting. Carnival is over now... but there is always next year!

That is one thing about carnival, the rules are supposed to be turned on their head.

Ouch! Does that mean everyone has to switch??!! Oh dear...


Public humiliation

I was handed a note by a man in Amsterdam that read 'I am a pathetic pervert.' Only later I assumed it was some form of humiliation game.

The amusing thing about this story is that whoever ordered him to hand them out was nicely perverted too. Takes two to tango.


Play with the risk: The challenge to avoid getting caught. Or perhaps to 'succeed' getting caught.


Share a secret with a conspiratorial smile: Only the two of you know what this particular gesture means, or what is hidden under those clothes...

Especially when one casually mentions

Wearing "stuff" under everyday clothes

tantalisingly leaving it to the reader's imagination to fill in the in the details... no fair!

[csr]

Especially when one casually mentions {. . .} tantalisingly leaving it to the reader's imagination to fill in the in the details... no fair!

Well lets just say that things that may only be a little exciting at home, become extremely erotic when you look into faces of people who you know damned well would be shocked if they knew what you were sporting at that moment. It's the amplified naughtiness factor, I think. And I don't think it takes much 'imagination' for readers on this site, .

[Ranai]

It's the amplified naughtiness factor, I think. And I don't think it takes much 'imagination' for readers on this site, .

True. (Doesn't make it less tantalising.)
What I like about your description besides the naughtiness factor is the conspiracy factor. It reminds me of being a child and sharing secrets with my best friend.