I like kink; am I normal?

[BDSM_Tourguide]

How many of us have heard words associated with what we do, such as "deviant", "abberant", "sick", "perverted", or worse? How many of us have wondered if what we do really is normal?

Well, let me tell you, you're just as normal as anyone else in this lifestyle and I'm here to tell you why.

The key here is the word lifestyle, which mean "A way or style of living that reflects the attitudes and values of a person or group." Since the BDSM/kink lifestyle is fairly widely-encompassing, our style of living and our values cover a wide range of subjects and ways of thinking.

By definition, that pretty much makes us normal. Normal, meaning "Conforming to or consisting of a pattern, process, or standard regarded as usual or typical".

So, if you look at this by definition, those of us involved in or participating in the BDSM lifesatyle are normal to one another. It's the vanillas that are deviants to us. Having normal, sex and not performing sodomy on one another? What's up with that?

Hell, half of all Americans own some kind of kink or fetish item (no kidding, it was on Canadian TV last week), so really a lot of the vanillas are a lot more normal than we might think.

So, don't think of yourself as being odd or different because you're attracted to kink. Just remember, you're as normal as the rest of us.

[Pickety Witch]

Does make you wonder sometimes.

I am a people watcher and it's fun to sit sometimes and just wonder about those walking by me. Are they or aren't they?

[Barton]

I have never considered myself odd...But I'm not so sure about the rest of you!
Barton.

[Pickety Witch]

Now Barton...not nice! lol

[slavelucy]

I have never considered myself odd...But I'm not so sure about the rest of you!
Barton.

....says he with a great big dog as an avatar!

Only kidding Barton!

Good thread TG; the only thing abnormal about the people on here as compared to other people, is that they have the bottle to admit be it to others or even to themselves, how they feel about things rather than bury it...and in that context, hell, i'd happily be abnormal.

sl

[Laila]

Very good thread

I have been through a lot of these questions during the last year... and believe me I'm not yet through.

What I know is, I never believed in conformity. Even though most of societies believes etc. are fine with me. And really a bit of tying up or light spanking is I think not so much of a taboo anymore - at least around here. *shrugs*
Maybe one day people will learn to respect and tolerate each other regardless.

[Pickety Witch]

We have had first hand knowledge of the prejudice of the so called "normal" person in the street. My kids, both grown now, are Goths. Peaceful, gentle, pacifists...kind people...who dress differently to the "norm".

They have been spat at...shouted at...and generally abused because of the way they dress.

They are "normal" in the same way as their mum and dad are "normal"...just different.

I look forward to the day that people can accept others for what they are. I think I will be waiting a while though.

[albear]

Amen Witchy-poo.

And the corset looks good with the jeans!

[sweetplymate]

I look forward to the day that people can accept others for what they are. I think I will be waiting a while though.

Unfortunately I agree, in the meantime i do my best on my own part to just try to live and let live...

and i am far from normal but my kink has nothing to do with any of that!

[Dslave]

Tourguide, you brought up some VERY good points. And explained "what is normal" quite well. Better than I had ever heard it explained, I must say.

What I find interesting is that many of the same people that judge (in the vanilla and the BDSM community) seem to ignore one simple and basic fact. It is a fact that thrill and excitement (whether it comes from pain or pleasure) give off the same biological responses. So, our behavior (be it as extreme as it may get) shouldn't really be that shocking. The vanillas ride rollercoasters and go to scary movies, we simply merge our adrenaline rushes and excitement into our sexual experiences. We all need release. Humans aren't built for the mundane. Even the most average persons who have the most mundane lives are constantly searching for an outlet. Their outlet are videogames, sports (extreme sports, even, now), movies, shooting ranges, all sorts of things. Ours outlets just happen to be sexual in nature but the result is very similar. It releases something inside you (the animal, the beast... the natural chemicals for certain) that needs to get the "rush" from the thrill. We all need it. We just go about it different ways.

[vinsint]

I have lost count how many times I consider myself abnormal, and how life may have been simplier if I was simplier.

At least I accept a little bit more of myself now than I did several years ago when I tried to hide it and deny it.