good_girl

I'm actually beginning to have a lot of fun writing this, I have never told anyone the whole story of good_girl before...not that the story is over yet, I have many chapters yet to live can't wait


So as I near my 39th birthday I know I’m a survivor and I now know what I have been missing in my life. I decided I must be crazy, I had always prided myself on being a strong and independent woman, how could the thought of a man telling me what was expected of me make me happy…but it did.

Again I looked back at past relationships but this time I saw them differently, this time I was aware of my own frustration. I remembered times when I would say “just tell me what you want” pleading with him, but no man had ever been either willing or able to answer this. I had so often felt like a failure, but not for lack of trying, for lack of knowing what was required to succeed. I knew I could succeed with the right man guiding me…with the right Dom *smiles*

It didn’t take me long before I was able to say it to myself…I am submissive…I felt an awkward sense of pride in that…but what now?

Part of me wanted to shout out to the world and part of me wanted to crawl under a rock and keep this secret to myself. In the end opportunity knocked, a few of the girls (all vanilla) at work were sitting around chatting as we girls do *smiles innocently* they were playfully talking about who was more dominant in their relationships, I had a look around the table and decided they were all people I trusted so I commented that I had recently discovered myself and that I was definitely the submissive type…..waiting for a reaction…..the conversation just flowed. I really don’t remember a lot of that conversation but later I pulled one of the girls aside and we talked further…we still talk about that day *smiles* I don’t think I ever felt more free in my life, I could be me, all of me, and my friend did not judge, she was and still is happy for me. Today most of my close friends know that this is the life I have chosen, none of them judge me, they are true friends, and although they have a limited understanding they support me because they see the smile on my face.

So now all there is left for me to do is find the right Dom and I know this will not be an easy task. It had been hard enough meeting guys and now the playing field was much narrower *groans* I stayed on the dating site I had been on but that wasn’t working out too well for me, so I put the idea of meeting the right Dom out of my mind…sort of, and I read, I read everything I could find online, informational sites, stories, you name it I read it. There were time I decided I would never find this in my own life and other times I was so determined to find it.


Just looked back at what I wrote and realized this is getting long…next chapter I begin to meet people