bpqueen

So, I have been in phone contact with Master today, and we have spoken of yesterday. He and I are completely in synch regarding his role in my life, but it is a big responsibility, and he is taking a few days to draft a contract and present a guidemap for our endeavor. I am so happy that I also have some new friends to talk to about what I am feeling and experiencing (although it will be a while before I feel comfortable enough to take them up on their offer). My hope is that Master can teach me to submit and communicate. I need an experienced hand in this, and my husband does not have the ability.

Never before have I felt this desire to obey someone else so strongly. Marriage is a partnership, and I am unable to submit, but am recognizing a need within myself to be able to do so. I have so many thoughts and images running through my head which are new and scary to me, but I need to learn to embrace them and make them my own. Master sees my fight and will help. I will not have to fight so much now alone. I just need to learn to communicate. He also knows this and has warned me that things will not move as fast as I will want. It will rather be an ongoing series of baby steps. He understands me better than myself, and makes we want to believe again.