Confused, frustrated and hurting
by
, 11-16-2008 at 04:25 PM (1284 Views)
Sunday night here, just after 22:45 and my mind won't let me rest, I've been waiting all day for a very important e-mail, hoping and praying that when it comes it'll be 'good news' but here I still sit, waiting & hoping.
What I am hoping for probably sounds crazy, I know what folk out there are going to scream (stop?) when they know that I am seriously contemplating giving up what little security I've got (roof over my head etc) for living life as someone's personal slave in London...
I know it's a drastic change for me if it happens, not least because of the consequences ~ I'll cutting off contact with a lot of friends as well as family, but something inside me feels that the experience could actually strengthen me, make me stronger and less emotional than I am now, the alternative just seems to be to give up the fight for survival altogether