Laila

I just got back from a wonderful weekend with my Master. He is still going easy on me, taking it slow - letting things come naturally. I love him for that - I love how he gives us both time, how he makes me feel so complete in my submission, how he touches me.

I am still aglow with these feelings he planted in me. Today I know what the source, what the true form of my submission is. I know now that even though I might be naturally submissive - it has never really worked one hundred percent before. It does now because my submission is the purest, most natural expression of my love for him. Its an instinct, a deep inner need to please and pleasure to worship and serve him.

He makes me dizzy with his touch... his hands, his lips and teeth. I know it sounds cheesy - but I haven't felt this way before with another person - ever. Its like my eyes were half-closed and everything was dim and now they are open. Or at least they are when I am with my Master.
When I am not, I still have trouble sometimes to see myself in this position - but when I am, I feel so perfectly at ease. So perfectly in my element.

At the same time, I have never been this emotionally vulnerable in life either. He touches´me, looks at me in that wonderful way that he does - and I am flying with the buoyancy of all these butterflies in my veins. But the moment he is distant, a little preoccupied and I start to worry that I did something wrong or that he's bored of me, I fall down so hard and so low as I haven't for a a long time. I know I need to get a handle on this but I don't wanna loose the highs - and in order to have them I'd be ok with keeping the lows as well.