~ willow ~

When I look back over the past year I can’t help but smile like, well, like the kitty who got the cream *purr*. I met my Sir just over a year ago and could never have envisioned where our friendship would lead. Our journey began with playful banter and flirting, to sharing our life views and inspirations, to a realization our relationship was becoming more than either of us had bargained for.

You see…submission is a new path for me. A realm of thought and feeling which I had not experienced before meeting my Sir. Despite the newness of this journey, there is a familiarity and a feeling of freedom and release that lets me know i’m heading in the right direction.

Since discovering this side of myself I have been insatiable in my reading about this topic. I’ve scoured the internet, reading blogs, stories and forums to find out as much as I can. All of it has served to fuel my desire to immerse myself in my submission and learn more.

Since joining the library my learning curve has become steeper…so much so it seemed far too daunting for a girl like me! Fortunately for me, I have a wonderful, caring Sir…dedicated to leading and guiding me, whilst encouraging me to find my own way. So I have been able to gather inspiration and the courage to slowly shed my inhibitions.

I have experienced joy, pleasure, excitement and desire. I’ve also been fearful, confused, defiant and overwhelmed. I feel like I’ve experienced the full spectrum of emotion, testing my Sir’s patience and testing my own commitment and devotion.

But with each struggle comes the realization that I have nothing to fear. Each test, results in my giving in a little more, trusting a little more…as hard as it is for me. To truly submit means to trust wholeheartedly. Despite what I’ve been conditioned to think, despite what lurks in my past. This journey has triggered a self-exploration that is opening my eyes. It has shown me parts of myself I’d long forgotten, evoked feelings I didn’t know I had and revealed fragility I didn’t want to admit.

My Sir is patiently and assuredly peeling back the layers of my self-doubt and revealing a part of me I never knew existed. He has supported me when I was hesitant, comforted me when I cried and explored my darkest desires so I can heal. With his guidance and love, my submission is blossoming. Ever so slowly, but it is. But don’t get me wrong, it’s not all so serious, I am his little slut after all *blushes*.

His strength inspires me to surrender and each day my respect for him grows. I hope to be worthy of his dominion. To please and serve, my Master, to the best of my ability…with love and humility.