Not sure if this is the right place to set this question.

I have been interested in BDSM from a distance for some time and have never really found a way in, I see people offering themselves up as slaves and others looking for a slave but I dont think this is what I am after. I like the idea of some of the physical aspects of this life, its amazing to have something to pull against and to be challenged by someone who enjoys setting up intense situations, to push you physically further than you thought you wanted to go. But I feel I want more from life than just this, I dont want it to be the centre of my world like so many here want, (and that is fine, to have found something you want so much is a rare thing) I guess I want more from life, which may have led me here in the first place, but not sure if this is where I want to be.

I however have not successfully managed to get involved with anybody in this lifestyle, partly because I am not ready to submit to sombody who hasnt earnt that from me and partly because I am worried I will dissapoint them as I dont know enough about how this lifestyle works.

I keep considering just giving up on this but always feel it is an avenue as yet unexplored fully, yet I dont know how to go about getting involved.

After such a long winded stream of confused thought, I guess my question is this...

1/ How do I meet someone who can help me to explore this life?

2/ Does anybody else on the outskirts of this comunity feel like giving up on this, feeling that it may not be the answer to that gap in your life?