Ever met a Scotsman and thought you might need subtitles?

Nevermind Edinburgh, try Dundee, Aberdeen and the wonderful speak of Glasgow


Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody as it would be sung by a Native Glaswegian:

GLASWEGIAN RHAPSODY

IS this the real life? Is it the methadone?
Stuck in the Gorbals, wae nae credit in ma fone
Open yer wine an talk wae a whine like me
Um jist a Weejie, gie us yer Sunny D
Coz al chib yer pal, rip yer Da,
slash yer dug,ride yer Ma

Anyway the Clyde flows disnae really matter tae me, tae me

Haw Maw, jist chibbed a bam
Buckie boatle tae the heid, noo the fuckin bastards deid
Haw Maw, ahm jist oan parole, an noo ahm headin back tae Barlinnieeeeee

Haw Maw, oooooh oooh
Didnae mean tae steal yer purse
But if ahm no full a smack this time the morra, carry oot carry oot
An we'll go oot on the batter

Too late, the pigs ur here
Sends shivers doon ma spine, gubbed 10 jellies jist in time
Goodbye aw ma muckers ah goat tae go
Got tae go an chib some wanker up the scheme

Haw Maw, oooooooh oooh
Ahm a jakey bam, u sometimes hink ahv never been washed at aw


ah see a little silhouetto o a bam
Adidas, adidas, can ye get us a kargo?
Thunderbird, whitelightening, very very frightening to me

Twenty Mayfair, twenty Mayfair, twenty Mayfair and some skins
Magnifico oh oh oh

Ahm jist a fat boy naebody luvs me, he's jist a fat boy fae a fat family
Spare us a pound fur a wee cup a tea

Get tae fuck skanky slob will u get a job?
Fuck sake ah willnae get a job
Get a job
Willnae get a job
Get a job
Willnae get a job
no no no no no no

Oh gonnorrhoea, gonnorrhoea, gonnorrhoea and the clap
Then doon the pub has the barman put aside for me, for me, for meeeeeeee?

So ye hink ye can slash me and pish in ma eye?
So ye hink ye can chib me an leave me tae die
Haw Bawbag, can't dae this tae me Bawbag
Jist wait til ahm oot, wait til ahm rite oot ma nut

Fuck aw really matters any prick can see, fuck aw really matters, fuck aw really matters tae me
Any way the Clyde flows.......


This is for every Scot I have loved
~waves to Glasgow and her beautiful but crazy people~