Protocol?

[Ozme52]

Oz…hmmm not sure when submitting would be appropriate in this situation, I’m going to assume you were kidding. We’ll discuss that this summer when we actually meet…looking forward to that.

As am I J-Go.

Amber was getting so much advice to be "wary" that I felt compelled to actually answer her question as to how to act.

As far as the final thought was put, as I said... if appropriate.

The lady who runs our munch once said she never blushes.
Now she blushes uncontrollably when I look at her and raise an eyebrow.
Nothing that I did to her, nothing that I said to her outside of the concept of blushing for me in public... and now she can't help herself... Nothing more, but it gives me pleasure to have that control... and she found she likes the attention. You never know what falls into the realm of appropriate.

[Whippett]

As am I J-Go.

Amber was getting so much advice to be "wary" that I felt compelled to actually answer her question as to how to act.

As far as the final thought was put, as I said... if appropriate.

The lady who runs our munch once said she never blushes.
Now she blushes uncontrollably when I look at her and raise an eyebrow.
Nothing that I did to her, nothing that I said to her outside of the concept of blushing for me in public... and now she can't help herself... Nothing more, but it gives me pleasure to have that control... and she found she likes the attention. You never know what falls into the realm of appropriate.

Am I the only one who finds this incredibly disrespectful to both the young lady and her Dom?

Because I find such blatant disregard for the other Dom's prerogative distasteful in the extreme.

[DowntownAmber]

Well... I hate to spoil the fun faithfull readers, but the business engagement in CO has been put off. Our CEO and loyal sales consultant determined that the $6,000.00 or so we would be spending to go to essentially a "tech convention" would not be worth it for the sales and marketing folks. *sniffle*

Instead, I'll be in Phoenix/Scottsdale on the 18th for a little under a week. I will technically be in the Denver airport for about three hours on the 18th but, much to my disappointment, dinner with the famous Sir Russell will have to occur another time. Denver is a pretty popular place for myself and my team, so I know I'll make it back soon but dammit I was looking forward to this!

[gemmy]

Well... I hate to spoil the fun faithfull readers, but the business engagement in CO has been put off. Our CEO and loyal sales consultant determined that the $6,000.00 or so we would be spending to go to essentially a "tech convention" would not be worth it for the sales and marketing folks. *sniffle*

Instead, I'll be in Phoenix/Scottsdale on the 18th for a little under a week. I will technically be in the Denver airport for about three hours on the 18th but, much to my disappointment, dinner with the famous Sir Russell will have to occur another time. Denver is a pretty popular place for myself and my team, so I know I'll make it back soon but dammit I was looking forward to this!

Awwww hun I'm sorry to hear your trip has been put off, sounds like it would have been fun but as Sir Russell has said, you may yet get to have a quick coffee Then we can all still get to hear about Mr. Infamous hehe

[thrall]

An interesting thought........


How come i don't feel the need to take such precautions with other subs? Or just women for that matter......Domme or sub.

Should we be taking these very same precautions with everyone on line??...Or is it just you Dom's???.......lol. Is the vouch safe of someone you trust enough??

I may be naive about this one but for me it is enough. Im going be gallivanting around with a girl I've never met and .........im going to have the greatest time in the world!

[icey]

An interesting thought........


How come i don't feel the need to take such precautions with other subs? Or just women for that matter......Domme or sub.

Should we be taking these very same precautions with everyone on line??...Or is it just you Dom's???.......lol. Is the vouch safe of someone you trust enough??

it goes for everyone, male, female Dom/me or sub, anybody could be anyone.for eg would you meet with me without knowing nothing of me or taking precautions?
in reality for anyone here knows i could be a Dom/me or a man which I know for certain im not...least last time i looked i wasnt lol

I may be naive about this one but for me it is enough. Im going be gallivanting around with a girl I've never met and .........im going to have the greatest time in the world!

and i hope you have a wonderful time thrall..im sure you will but whilst im not being offensive still take all precautions anyone who is genuine will be fine with that,will expect it and will respect it.

thee are people here i would love to meet r/t and am confident of but i would still cover my back so to speak just as i did with Icehawk...just because someone is a girl or sub doesnt mean they come with a guarantee.

[annie]

An interesting thought........


How come i don't feel the need to take such precautions with other subs? Or just women for that matter......Domme or sub.

Should we be taking these very same precautions with everyone on line??...Or is it just you Dom's???.......lol. Is the vouch safe of someone you trust enough??

I may be naive about this one but for me it is enough. Im going be gallivanting around with a girl I've never met and .........im going to have the greatest time in the world!

Honestly Thrall, in my opinion you should do the same precautions wiht anyone you meet for the first time, especially on line, be them male/female, Dom or sub.

That being said... do I? ummmmmmmm... no. Just becasue it doesn't cross my mind too.

Also, the Doms/men should be taking the EXACT same precautions. I may be a female but that doesn't mean I can't still drug them without their knowledge, lure them somewhere, etc. I could follow them from the restaurant, etc. Heck my "safe" call could even be finalizing details of having help in doing them in. How are they to know or stay safe?

It only makes sense. Now if the big bad Doms didn't think they were invincible most of the time and do it is an entirely different challenge.... *laughs*

[thrall]

Honestly Thrall, in my opinion you should do the same precautions wiht anyone you meet for the first time, especially on line, be them male/female, Dom or sub.

That being said... do I? ummmmmmmm... no. Just becasue it doesn't cross my mind too.

Yes i understand that.....i will usually meet for time meet in a public place....but with a sub i dont feel the need to do all the safe call thing..... And as to protocol of how to act.....i treat them as i would anyone else. I treat them with friendly casual respect and open honest friendship.....

But that being said.....the subs that i am going to meet soon i just plain trust 100% sight unseen.....(hugs to both of you)

[Tojo]

Thanks Alex- I accept that.

Oz- yeah, we're getting lost in the language here!

Answer this question please- which does actually relate to Amber's original post.

Suppose jane, who calls herself a sub, meets Master Jack, who calls himself a Dom.

They've never met face to face, & only know each other from a forum (much like this one)

Do you believe jane should call him 'Master Jack' which is how he identifies on the forum, or should she call him Jason- which is the name his mother gave him & his real name?

Secondly, should she treat him with more respect than she'd treat anyone else, for the simple reason that he's said 'I'm a Dom.'

[Ozme52]

Oz- yeah, we're getting lost in the language here!

Answer this question please- which does actually relate to Amber's original post.

Suppose jane, who calls herself a sub, meets Master Jack, who calls himself a Dom.

They've never met face to face, & only know each other from a forum (much like this one)

Do you believe jane should call him 'Master Jack' which is how he identifies on the forum, or should she call him Jason- which is the name his mother gave him & his real name?

Secondly, should she treat him with more respect than she'd treat anyone else, for the simple reason that he's said 'I'm a Dom.'

For all intents and purposes I answered this already in response to your Regent Tojo question.

Master, Mister, what's the difference. It means nothing if that's the only name he's known by. If he tells her his name is Jason, then that is the same as Mr. Bossname telling you his name is Bob... a tacit invitation to use his given name.

Secondly... again! No! What I said was... no more respect than you might give your boss, which in my eyes, is the same respect I give to anyone upon meeting them for the first time. I only uses familiar terms of address with my friends and social acquaintances.


BTW, I really loathed answering you after J-Go asked us to desist. I ignored the general comments because I was trying to respect his wishes. But you called me out by name...

J-Go, I hope you understand why I responded.

[thrall]

Thanks icey........but this one comes iron clad....and i have 100% confidence...and i think she is the greatest!!!

[thrall]

Breathe...

I think you are both saying the same things....

1... That you are who you say you are.
2... That reguardless of who you say you are....when meeting someone for the first time that it prudent to follow all safety precautions......

hugs

[Ozme52]

amber I would be willing to have coffee and whatever at the airport with you and that way I can say I meet the lovely intelligent sexy amber before Oz does. lol, it is a real offer so if you would like I will be there.

laffin. Now that's a worthy way for us to compete Russell.

[DowntownAmber]

Goodness, I take a few days off from being online and the thread explodes! *hehehe*

Sir Russell: I would love to meet you for coffee at the airport. I'll email you with my layover details as soon as I change my flight arrangements.

Oz: though my submission belongs solely to one man, I'm gonna go ahead and guess you'll likely make J-Go AND me blush at some point... I have a sneaking suspicion you just kinda' have that can-make-anyone-blush-in-public type of personality...

Thrall: The same rules of engagement apply for Doms or subs, men or women I would suspect. The world is full of fruitcakes, be prepared. Each situation is different, of course, and the "rules" change based on what type of interaction you've had with the person you're meeting, but I know you have both good sense and good intuition and will handle the situation with healthy doses of both.

[gemmy]

Goodness, I take a few days off from being online and the thread explodes! *hehehe*

Sir Russell: I would love to meet you for coffee at the airport. I'll email you with my layover details as soon as I change my flight arrangements.

Oz: though my submission belongs solely to one man, I'm gonna go ahead and guess you'll likely make J-Go AND me blush at some point... I have a sneaking suspicion you just kinda' have that can-make-anyone-blush-in-public type of personality...

Thrall: The same rules of engagement apply for Doms or subs, men or women I would suspect. The world is full of fruitcakes, be prepared. Each situation is different, of course, and the "rules" change based on what type of interaction you've had with the person you're meeting, but I know you have both good sense and good intuition and will handle the situation with healthy doses of both.

Well, I for one look forward to hearing an update on the coffee visit hun

[thrall]

Thrall: The same rules of engagement apply for Doms or subs, men or women I would suspect. The world is full of fruitcakes, be prepared. Each situation is different, of course, and the "rules" change based on what type of interaction you've had with the person you're meeting, but I know you have both good sense and good intuition and will handle the situation with healthy doses of both.

I know ...and agree. Still and all though i feel more relaxed about the "rules" with women and subs....

And as to those fruitcakes you mentioned.....LMAO....are they the fabled ones that last forever and just keep getting passed around??????

[DowntownAmber]

I know ...and agree. Still and all though i feel more relaxed about the "rules" with women and subs....

And as to those fruitcakes you mentioned.....LMAO....are they the fabled ones that last forever and just keep getting passed around??????

Yes, those ARE the fabled fruitcakes!! Beware!! *giggles uncontrollably*

[Ozme52]

Oz: though my submission belongs solely to one man,

Of course. I never imagined otherwise.

I'm gonna go ahead and guess you'll likely make J-Go AND me blush at some point...

Certainly not on purpose, I would never presume to do so to J-Go, nor would I do so to you lest it was clear you were receptive to a little flirting. And I know that you wouldn't if J-Go objected. I know you know I never meant to imply otherwise.

I have a sneaking suspicion you just kinda' have that can-make-anyone-blush-in-public type of personality...

Well... if you're challenging me... sure.

[Ozme52]

Am I the only one who finds this incredibly disrespectful to both the young lady and her Dom?

Because I find such blatant disregard for the other Dom's prerogative distasteful in the extreme.

I think you missed what I quoted Russell - Oz specifically talks about counting coup on a woman who organizes the munches in his area. There is no indication she is his submissive - he just likes to make her blush to prove he can - and has conditioned her to respond automatically from the sound of it.

Playing mental games that leave your own sub uneasy or humiliated is one thing - doing so to another's sub is extremely disrespectful, and if it were done to my sub - I would have a serious issue with the dominant who had done so - and a public apology that made the dom look like the jerk he had been in doing that stunt would only be part of it. And from Oz's posting - it is clear that the woman he is humiliating is NOT his submissive.

I dislike doms who count coup for the sake of doing so - and find it difficult to respect them since I consider what they do akin to harrasment

That's a hell of a leap.
You assume she's a submissive.
You assume she belongs to someone else.
You assume she wasn't flirting.
You assume I imposed myself on her unwillingly.

And there's a hell of a large difference between being embarassed and being humiliated.

Did you not see where I said she likes the attention?
Do you understand the concept of flirting?
Do you understand the concept of appropriate?
How many times do I have to say that? "When appropriate."

Counting coup? I guess that must be what you do, to presume that's what I do.

[Whippett]

That's a hell of a leap.
You assume she's a submissive.
You assume she belongs to someone else.
You assume she wasn't flirting.
You assume I imposed myself on her unwillingly.

And there's a hell of a large difference between being embarassed and being humiliated.

Did you not see where I said she likes the attention?
Do you understand the concept of flirting?
Do you understand the concept of appropriate?
How many times do I have to say that? "When appropriate."

Counting coup? I guess that must be what you do, to presume that's what I do.

you make presumptions yourself Ozme. Yes, I saw all those points you made - and what rang clearest was your pride in seizing control over the person in question in some small way - and that is counting coup.

It is clear you enjoy counting coup. It appears in a good many of your posts as a common theme. The fact I recognize it does not, however, mean I do it myself.

[annie]

you make presumptions yourself Ozme. Yes, I saw all those points you made - and what rang clearest was your pride in seizing control over the person in question in some small way - and that is counting coup.

It is clear you enjoy counting coup. It appears in a good many of your posts as a common theme. The fact I recognize it does not, however, mean I do it myself.

OK... so you two don't Dom in the same fashion. Duly noted. Everyone can make their own judgments and opinions about either/both of you. So... can the pissing match end now? (I would much prefer to buy tickets to the next show about spanking as JGlo suggested! )

[DowntownAmber]

Cool Luke's Hand (and anyone else that determines this thread is someplace to spew venom): if someone deems it necessary to attack you or your position in this thread, by all means feel free to back up your statements. If, on the other hand, you're simply inclined to bust out six paragraphs worth of public "fuck you's" because all the private messaging you've passed back and forth ripping on someone else hasn't quite assuaged the ego hit you took from a comment over a week ago on a completely different thread, well just stop it.

PM the person you don't like and tell them so if it makes you feel better, but keep it off my thread, m'kay? Breathe deeply, count to ten, then patter off and spend the ten minutes it took to write that post and go do something useful or hop on a different thread and write something that will actually help someone or answer a question etc. etc..

Thank you very much, now let's all go on about our day. Mods, is it possible to remove the "angry posts" please? Thank you.

[thrall]

Alright so now that we have covered the issue of fruitcakes......i have a few questions about them....

What about nuts....some fruitcakes come with nuts???? Are they big nuts or small ones?? Are they as soaked in liquor as reported??....and more importantly.......is it a hard fruitcake or soft one???


Do i need to be more careful of the fruitcake...or the nuts???


all good questions to ponder...........lmao.........*wink*

[Sir_Russell]

Whippett

Did you read his first post, if you did then taken in context I don't think he insulted anyone or ask her to become his sub. As far as how she reacts to him is her business. Since the three of them have plans to meet in summer I don't think there is a problem. I am sure they will all be respectful to each other.

Ask yourself why any Dom that has given public coaching on how to be safe when meeting a Dom for the first time is suddenly a villian. I personally hope to meet both Oz and his lovely lady some day soon and I will expect my lady to be respectful and can't even picture his being anything else.

[Whippett]

Whippett

Did you read his first post, if you did then taken in context I don't think he insulted anyone or ask her to become his sub. As far as how she reacts to him is her business. Since the three of them have plans to meet in summer I don't think there is a problem. I am sure they will all be respectful to each other.

Ask yourself why any Dom that has given public coaching on how to be safe when meeting a Dom for the first time is suddenly a villian. I personally hope to meet both Oz and his lovely lady some day soon and I will expect my lady to be respectful and can't even picture his being anything else.

I think you missed what I quoted Russell - Oz specifically talks about counting coup on a woman who organizes the munches in his area. There is no indication she is his submissive - he just likes to make her blush to prove he can - and has conditioned her to respond automatically from the sound of it.

Playing mental games that leave your own sub uneasy or humiliated is one thing - doing so to another's sub is extremely disrespectful, and if it were done to my sub - I would have a serious issue with the dominant who had done so - and a public apology that made the dom look like the jerk he had been in doing that stunt would only be part of it. And from Oz's posting - it is clear that the woman he is humiliating is NOT his submissive.

I dislike doms who count coup for the sake of doing so - and find it difficult to respect them since I consider what they do akin to harrasment

[jeanne]

A thought from a sub who's not conversant in the "Dom rules"...so I'm sure some will ignore me.

Just because a woman is submissive doesn't mean she stops being a woman. Doesn't mean she stops enjoying a little bit of attention and admiration from men. I expect if Oz thought this was going to be a problem for either her or her Dom, if she has one, he'd not have done it. I, personally, have never seen him be disrespectful here or in real life.

And I believe, in the post to Amber, there was a caveat - "if appropriate". Not "if I feel like it, if I want you to, etc." - the word was 'appropriate'.

Vocabulary is a wonderful thing.

[Ozme52]

Just because a woman is submissive doesn't mean she stops being a woman. Doesn't mean she stops enjoying a little bit of attention and admiration from men.

Exactly!

[Alex Bragi]

again tojo you show us more of you then Oz and me. So by your doubts that I am as I seem you seem to be saying that you aren't who you claim to be since after all we all lie here.

Can I say that you personally disgust me and have for a very long time. Your married to a none sub and have girls everywhere that you deeply care for. That too says beware of me and beware of my advise because I see this as just an online game....

Sir Russell, please it's not a good form to paraphrase anyone here. It's confusing and often misleading.

And, no, you may not say that. No member here has the right to judge or criticize any other member's lifestyle or way of life.

[Ozme52]

...but consider myself a fluffy pink high maintenance Dom as well - lol.

Out of context and from an unrelated thread... but I just found this...

...and it speaks to a huge difference between our approach to D/s.

I call your approach sub-centric.
My approach is dom-centric.

There's room for both and neither is abusive.