it's been My experience that different sites have different behavioral norms and that if one doesn't care for the ones at a particular site one simply looks elsewhere. It's My own practice to act in a chat room pretty much the same way I'd act in a r/l gathering since r/l is My back ground and is thus the etiquette with which I'm most familiar but I wouldn't expect other people to change their behavior to suit Me any more than I would to suit them as long as the specific rules of the site are being observed