In response to your post, may I direct firstly to this coming Friday’s discussion group: 23rd August, 9pm EST as the topic of the evening are things that should be considered before becoming d/s? The nature of both Dom/me and sub's needs and how to go about understanding then adapting to those needs. You may find it beneficial to speak with others with more experience than I.

I understand there are Dom/me’s that consider themselves firstly, but I personally would expect to take or to be taken to where I truly wanted to go, then slightly further than I expected. Time and patience plays a huge part of this, as how else would the Dom/me or sub not get such pleasure? I feel this occurs through the need to be/show love, to be cherished and desire(d) to please, this certainly cannot occur through a fear of failure

For me, personally, I note ‘the nature of both’; Dom/me and subs needs within a mutual exchange, it is a relationship of two halves surely. It grows, develops within the dynamic over time. Submission for me is something I give freely with love and admiration for my Dom. Overtime, I trust him to take me further than I think I can go, this encourages increased shared enjoyment and progression.

Maybe if this ‘level’ had been discussed and agreed upon together it could or would have developed to the level he wanted. To say do this, ‘or/not’ with little flexibility and certainly coupled with the ‘or else’ ultimatum as mentioned, does not show respect for your participation. Initially starting a relationship within such strict parameters as you describe is not a form of mutual communication.

As my Sister Miss Red, rightly indicates I also suspect after this ‘trial’ period, it would have not changed a single thing within the dynamic. Instinct told you what was being required of you, as such an early stage of your relationship, was not only was potentially harmful for your health, but emotionally as well..

You did nothing wrong, far from it. You ran, trusted your instinct, this was not for you, you protected yourself, understandably, in my mind.

Sett