the definition of poly--a discussion

[Draconem]

As with orientation, libido, and just about everything else having to do with sex and romance, it's hard to say how much of being poly is biology and how much is psychology...It seems much too easy to say that polyamory is like monogamy only with more people involved...Getting into a poly relationship is easy, or at least as easy as getting into any other kind of relationship: someone says "How about it?" and someone else says "Sure" and there you are. Being in a poly relationship, and keeping it running, is hard....Most people Are "picket fence poly". There's swinging, where established couples swap partners for sex but don't usually get romantically entangled with anyone new. There's the more promiscuous style that is often referred to as "Polyfuckery", and likewise, BDSM aficionados who play outside their established relationships could be said to engage in "Polykinkery". When people get into multiple relationships until they find the right person to be monogamous with, its called "Poly until Prince Charming". And finally, there's "Don't ask don't tell"One of the big hassles of being poly is that all of these nuances are pretty much lost on your average monogamous person. They think it's all swinging, or it's all cheating. Even when you reassure them repeatedly that it's honest, they find it hard to believe.Or understand...If you're jealous, why are you jealous and what makes it better or worse? If you're lonely when your partner is out , is it because you miss your partner or because you just want company?...Polyamory is a damned hard topic...To borrow a phrase from you hoosakitty....you have one life...live it