Newbie question about "protocol"

[Mistress Ellie]

Hello everyone,

I've met a sub online and must say he is quite interesting (on many levels) and we share lots of interests.

I am considering taking him as a sub, but he is a little shy and did not ask me yet. I know subs are supposed to petition to a potential Dom/me, but is it ok for a Dom/me to let a sub know he's "interesting"? If so, is there a good way to let know/ask?

Thanks in advance :-)

-Mistress Ellie

[lucy]

I know subs are supposed to petition to a potential Dom/me, but is it ok for a Dom/me to let a sub know he's "interesting"?

I don't know what subs are supposed to do nor do I know anything about 'protocol', but I do know that I'm glad my Master didn't wait until I finally got over my shyness or we probably wouldn't be married now.

Also, I think it's rare enough that one meets someone with whom one actually shares a lot of interests and it would be a terrible waste to risk everything just because of some protocol. But that's just my opinion and I don't give much on formalities and protocols.

As for the how to let know/ask: As a Domme you have the fantastic advantage to pack it into an order, or a task. Or just go the good old way of telling him how you feel about him. That shouldn't be wrong, either.

[denuseri]

I never once heard of any protocol requiring the submissive to petition the dominant (at least not in any real life setting)...quite the opposite in fact so I'm with lucy on this one...just ask him outright.

[Ozme52]

Old protocols, new protocols, online protocols, realtime protocols... it really doesn't matter so long as they (and your subs) serve you and you don't serve them.

In fact, a lot of folk are most disturbed by uppity subs who are so bold as to ask rather than wait and be asked (or told.) Not me, I like a submissive who wants me so much she asks to be used. But that's rare, they're more scared of rejection than they are of not being asked... so I say take... I mean ask and watch his eyes light up.

As to how... seems to me that should in a manner that suits your nature, pleases you, and offers a hint of how delightful life under your dominion might be.

[Mistress Ellie]

Thanks everybody for your replies. In a sense, it's just like any relationship, it takes a lot of communication, and on both sides.

On a side note, I'm really glad I found this place. It's great to finally put words on my needs.

[DontFWM]

There is a way where by you dont ask at all but make it a suggestion as in "You need me as..Or you will enjoy me as, or You must" As a dominant to plead or ask... Your defeating the purpose..It is your job and responsibility to take the lead in all things...So take the lead here.....Remember that the training is one of the most rewarding aspects of being a Dom...Make him aware of the advantages of him being YOUR sub..You will be the provider of untold delights to him or his worst nightmares...