I hope you guys don't mind me jumping in here.

There's no way i could tell my parents, ever. Both my parents are raging feminists, beyond the equal pay, get out of the kitchen attitude. Both my mom and dad would go on long rants when I was growing up about how women were more intelligent and therefore superior. Does it surprise anyone here that both my sister and i have submissive predilections?

My sister is very mild, she likes light bondage and spanking and after she confessed that to me I told her about my interest in BDSM. however I did -not- tell her what I get up to, so as far as she knows I'm into the tame things she likes. so she knows about it but not much.

All of J's friends and his mom (his only living relative) know about it. but they have been very accepting. He told them as soon as he met me "this is how it is with Cat and i" and they were totally fine with it.

So in short, my parents and extended family will never know, other than my sister, and friends well, either they accept this is part of who we are or they stop hanging out with us. They know that and as it stands, we haven't lost a friend yet