Well first we need to identify whether your dom or sub, by the sounds of it I'm guessing sub but I'd hate to assume.

Second would be to find your boundaries and know where you are most comfortable.

Third of course is to find a dom/sub (as far as where to find someone I am not too sure really.. I know a site for gay men but that is all) but also don't just pick the first person you find.. get to know them and stuff a bit first, make sure they are a good match for you. Set your boundaries with them and vice versa.