Quote Originally Posted by kurious-kitten View Post
Hi.

I guess I feel pretty strange, posting here, when I've been a member for a while, but never posted in the forums. I've kinda lurked, reading conversations like a peeping Tom lol. I've definitely learned a lot from just reading opinions. So I've decided to ask your thoughts about my inner dilemma.

I've been with my Dom/Master for a few months now, and it's one of those cases that I feel like I've known him for much, much longer. I've read some not-so-approving thoughts about online relationships. I myself feel mostly comfortable in mine.

So my question is directed mostly to subs, but I'd love any answers. Lately I feel like I've fallen a lot deeper than ever into my submission and it feels strange. Like I should be careful, yet give him everything I've got at the same time. Have you ever felt like this? Like you can feel his physical presence, even if he's states away from you? It makes me wary, as I don't have such good history with guys, emotion-sharing wise.

Thanks for any answers.
hello and i am glad that you are posting

The issue your raised reminded me of a blog entry of mine, a few years ago, please allow me to post it there, as you may find it useful, or at least not ugly

I have nothing against online D/s and absolutely no bad experiences with it. It has its problems, though.

The post of the blog is as follows, please, take as much as you can and use it for your joy.
________

"Eerie" moments are some moments of total completeness, arousal and happiness in a feeling of submission, when alone and in full inner balance. One such moment had happened in August three years ago. i had been allowed to go to the movies, i was alone and afterwards i went out in a small and very beautiful park near the cinema. There, in the wooden bench and under the August moonlight, i felt very full of my Trainer, complete and very happy. As if He was not only there, but inside me, around me, on top of me and everywhere. i thought that this very nice "eerie" feeling was due to my Trainer. i was terrified that all my moments of happiness were about to be with me alone and Him just overseeing the situation. i didn't like this at all. Funnily, i had become full of denial after those moments, earning myself a very nice punishment but absolutely no closeness by His part.

It happened to me again, this time under the August moonlight of this year, ha ha ha. i was in my veranda, after midnight, in total silence, and it was as beautiful as ever. But now i was a free person and not a trainee slave. The completeness and happiness were the same, although the situation different. Then i knew that it was me that i was making my happiness, not any other person, no matter how important the gift of His dominance to me.