This subject is so common. My personal story is one that I like to think can give hope to people in this situation, but then again, some may find it scary. lol I was married when I found out what it was to be a submissive. I had spent my life searching for something and knowing that there was more to it than what I had found. I had been married for 7 years and was bored, frustrated and unhappy. I found this site through a search one night for "BDSM" and that's that. It was like coming home for me. I have spent the past few years learning and making mistakes and meeting people who have been in the same situation as me. I finally got separated last year, as we both realized it just was not working. It wasn't just because of the need I had for a Dominant man in my life, though that played a huge part in it. There were other issues as well.

During the time that I was married and could not pursue real life submission, I found solace online and with others who understood me. I think there comes a point when you HAVE to have physical, real life contact and online can only go so far, but if you can make it work for you then go with it. Just be very careful. If you are married and have no desire to be in that relationship, maybe you should step back and take a look at all the other reasons you were so unhappy that led you to this point. (forgive me if I am overstepping my bounds)

I tried to get my ex husband into this but he did not understand the mental aspects of it at all and there is no way I ever would have submitted to him at all. Ever. SO eventually we did separate and are now divorced. I am free to pursue my fate and he is no longer my concern. I consider myself extremely lucky to have that freedom. As well as a Master whom I serve very happily. My M/s relationship is long distance, as it was started from this site but it has grown over a long period of time to what it is today. No matter what you decide, take your time. You have to make sure that whomever you choose to share this with is the right person for you. There are so many different levels of compatibility in this lifestyle. I have learned that through trial and error.

I sincerely hope that one day you are able to get what you need from life without having to hide who you truly are. It is my very strong belief that if you are married and that person does not know or cannot understand your needs, it is time to move on, as hard as that may be. There are some who make it work, and that is great for them! But those are special circumstances. They learn how to make themselves happy AND make their two lives work without ever crossing those two paths. If you can't make yourself happy by living a dual life, then you will have to, at some point, choose one or the other. You can't deny who you truly are for long before it catches up to you. That is what happened to me.

I hope you can be happy here and find what you need to fill that gap. I also hope that I don't sound too preachy or too forward with my post. That was not my intention. Just wanted to let you know what I have been through and that you are definitely not alone!

~Master's muse~