And I totally disagree. It's a fallacy, imo, manufactured in an era of too many doms and not enough subs (who admitted they were submissive.) So "new" doms had to "work their way up the pecking order." Be submissive to the established dominants before they could play with their own new "submissives". Earn their chops. Certainly a solution to that particular problem. But is it necessary in today's age of information? Where submissives now supposedly outnumber dominants 10 to 1?

And let's look at the "logic" of the statement by inverting it. Does anyone think that submissives don't affect their dominants? That somehow we are emotionally immune? If by that statement one means physically, well who in the world doesn't understand physical pain. Whether a fall or a sunburn, a ropeburn or getting hit or spanked, we all understand the ills and dangers of the physical side. So we must be talking about the emotional impact of bdsm. In which case, how can someone possibly submit without first being dominant so they can relate how their actions make their doms feel?

Now in that context, the same argument suddenly seems silly for how can someone submit without first being dominant and they can't do that without first being submissive.

I've never submitted in the context of bdsm. No one who knows me in person, (v. on the net,) would be likely to say I am anything but a good dom. Some would say I'm a great dominant. (I can get references if need be. )

My answer to the question, "what does it take to be a good dom?" is this. Be open to criticism. Be open to advice. Be open to education. Be open to introspection. Watch, listen, learn. Take your cues from those around you, whether dominant or submissive, whether male or female. Don't be dismissive, be accepting. Don't do more than you can control, (i.e., don't do dangerous activities with people who put themselves and their safety in your hands.) Take your time to learn and approach these things in a slow stepwise manner. (No one packs their own parachute, for the first time, and goes base jumping, for the first time, without instruction and supervision, and if you do... you'll always be a dangerous dominant too.)

What I thought I knew years ago was fine then, but doesn't compare to what I know now. What I know now probably will pale against what I will come to know. But all along the way, I've been a good, perhaps even a great dom because I never acted like my way was the one right way, that I knew all I needed to know, or that every submissive should or would be responsive to my style of domination.

One more thing... if all I've said doesn't work for you, then be tolerant.