Originally posted by Jane SC
Hi andibabe....YES! i can empathize, it is a bloody awful feeling, but i also would really struggle to describe it!
I have been fortunate enough to live most of my bdsm life as a R/T (real time) experience, but I do know what you mean when you write about the awful feeling that comes from knowing my absent masted is angry at me or, even worse, dissapointed with my actions.
It is a hopeless feeling of missing out that wrings my heart and makes me even more determined to endure the ensuing punishment the best I can. I guess the only other thing that could make me feel that bad would be to (heaven forbid!,)cheat on him.
It is always a matter of honour and trust to have the strenght to admit my failings to him when he has been absent. I know I would not last a day if I tried to hide anything from him.