Your last line is the first one I would like to address.

You can't force a person to be Dominant, nor can you force a person to be submissive. You can get them to Top or Bottom, but that isn't the same. So with that in mind...

I am in the lifestyle for my pleasure. I enjoy tormenting my submissive for my pleasure. I, on purpose, found someone who was looking for the flip side of where I am. So I found my submissive, who enjoys being tormented for my pleasure, and derives pleasure out of that. It can be a complex notion, but that's the crux of it.

Hope that helps.