what do you think of the silent treatment as used for punishment?

[13'sbadkitty]

I think this highlights a difference...

You have an argument, he roars off in a sulk (or you do the same). This is not 'using the silent treatment as punishment' in a BDSM context. For one thing it is not planned nor preset but an emotional response caused by an argument. Usually people do this because they want to avoid making an argument worse by saying or doing something they may regret - by leaving the situation they gain the chance to regain their control and act more rationally in later engagements.

Silence in BDSM is different. It is planned. The sub knows it will happen and why it is happening. It is not an emotional response to gain time to consider future actions but a demonstration of control and power. You could argue that, by pre-ordaining actions and consequences in this way, a BDSM relationship may well avoid arguments and feelings of abandonment because the sub knows where they stand - they have certainty.

no i got that fetish, i did.

i was actually i guess feeling my way through the question which is typical for me. now i will go immediately go sit in my corner quietly

[damyanti]

It is my no.1 hard limit.

The moment he does that we really have nothing more to discuss. To me it says he is immature, inarticulate, overgrown brat that doesn't care about me or the relationship and is only in it for the "sports".

When one party needs time off or cooling off period, and its agreed to beforehand with set rules and time tables, that is fine, we all need that occasionally.

But I dont buy fanciful tripe that silent treatment in BDSM as punishment is something different than it is in vanilla world i.e. sulking bordering on emotional abuse or playing sadistic mind fucks. I know you can make it sound logical in print, the problem is that in practice it never translates itself as such. It is immature, it is callous and cruel, and just because it is effective in short term doesnt mean its "punishment", it is abandonment. It scars the submissive, it irrevocably damages the trust and by that relationship.

Now, as with everything else, some people get off on that....so to each their own.