To Julisse:

I am writing this in the forum instead of a PM because sombody else may need to read it.
Seven years ago I was in your shoes. I was trying to get my boyfriend to understand how I wanted to be dominated. He wanted to please me but just could not do it. Until one night we had a talk about it. Not about what but about why.

It was a long and tearful conversation. He had secretly considered leaving me, as my desires were too intense for his taste. But also he was sure that he loved me. He even wondered whether or not he may have been a sub himself. Above all he could not reconcile his incipient dominance with his feelings for me.

We realized we did not know each other enough to be intimate at such extreme level. We gave it just one more try and we spent the next eight months learning more about each other. Not in our dom/sub roles but as students of each other's minds. Everything was fair game. Every aspect of our lives that had led us to that point in our relationship was explored. Some of it was not romantic at all. Some of it hurt. But we were protected by the certainty of our love. In the end, paradoxically, he learned more about submission and I learned more about dominance.

We got luck, I will admit. It worked out. It is a compromise but it makes us happy. He still thinks I am too extreme. Some times he switches. (It keeps him in touch with my reality) Sometimes, I do.
But I believe we can keep on compromising.

He know what I am writing and he just gave me his trademark "I know how important this is for you " smile. I hope you have someone in your life as wonderful as him.

Nikka