Hi pholks, I am new to this setup here, and stumbled across the thread on "The Secretary" and felt a strong desire to share. First off it is not unusual to find a girl "hurting" herself, either deliberately, or "accidentally". First thing to look at is that girls are designed to deal with pain. I refer here to childbirth, the female body is definitely designed to deal with an enormous pain factor, and girls will do this repeatedly and willingly. That is not to negate the fact that there are men that are into pain too. Not so much the pain, but the sweet relief brought on by endorphins. It appears to me that there are more women that have had a child or two that fall into the BDSM and spanking and tit-torture very easily and with gusto.
As for topping from the bottom, there are so many schools of thought on it, that one could spend years writing a HUGE compendium on this subject alone. I think that it seems as though there are really three main thoughts on it:
The first is that a submissive/slave should not be trying to get his/her desires filled by manipulating the situation.
The next is that it depends on the "type" of manipulation.
and the third seems to be that if the top is blissfully unaware, then SOMEONE has to take the initiative and get the ball rolling. (as seemed to be the case mostly in "The Secretary")
In my opinion, the concept in "The Secretary" was that the girl found the man she liked enough to want to do things with, once he spanked her for the first time. The idea being that she did not know that there were others that shared this sweet pain, and when she did, her elation moved her to push the envelope, so to speak. He was struggling with the concept that he was a sadist of sorts, and finally when he saw that this fitted into her world perfectly, he was happy to take on the role of having to be the disciplinarian to her "misbehaviour" - really just another form of role playing.
One point that I would like to stress her, is that there seem to be different types of "Dominants/Tops/Masters, and all too often I see the Tops panicking when they see a strong sub/slave. Yewno, the old adage of heat and kitchens, comes to mind here. There are Tops that require an automaton, and in my opinion that gets old within about a week. To truly know your tendencies as a Top, I feel that the should be stressed a bit every so often, instead of it remaining a dull routine that can be performed by a blow-up doll, or the likes thereof. Again, this is merely my opinion, and my referencing here is my upbringing. I come from a continent that is fully D/s from top to bottom - excuse the pun - with the idea that there is only one captain to a ship, and if you don't like the ride you're on, catch another ship, instead of trying desperately to change the course your chosen captain is taking. In "The Secretary" James and Maggie have set their course and it turns out, lived it to the full.