I see the new post has been attached to the original thread. Kudos to the staff for good housekeeping practices.

18yroldbreederslave: I have reread your posts and including this new one, I think perhaps this is a story. If I am wrong I will be happy to apologize and you should follow the link to the support group. If I am not, then this is the link you should have been given.

The Writers Block

What you have is not a bad start, and there are people in that forum who will generally be happy to help you refine your story and style.

Cheers,
Twisted