Jen,

Just thought to let you know that I too had fantasies since I was 7 years old. My fantasies didn't involve me but other people usualy no one in particular,but just imaginary people. I am very dominant in life, I am always the leader in everything, however when it comes to what I want, it is different. I am not to much into BDSM even though I tried some, and I've read many many many stories Me and my husband tried BDSM and I loved it at the time, however I was emotionaly unstable at the time and since I am usualy dominant in life, I do not let my emotions show even if I am in a lot of emotional pain. So when we tried BDSM and my husband wipped me to tears, it was the most intense and pure feeling I've ever had. Unfortunately right now I am not at that point anymore. But it is just me.

Also not always what one want's is possible. For example I would love to be dominated for a 100% and not to have any control whatsoever in a relationship, I would like to be told what to do... BUT this is my fantasy in real life in such a relationship I would last 24 hours tops. Unfortunately scene playing is not enough for me, it has to be all or nothing. Of course we play and we tie each other up and I love hot wax (don't know why it is considered painful, I love it) but I can't call it BDSM to me it is just erotic play. For me personaly BDSM has to be on an emotional level and not just physical play. The role of submissive or a master should not be a good rehearsed show. It should be real feelings and real emotions. What the submissive feels has to come from the heart and what the master feels has to be the same, otherwise it's just a theatrical performance. It is my opinion and that's why for me it's all or nothing. Hopefully this will help you a little to sort your feelings out.
P.S
I hope I am not offending anyone here, I know some people do like to just have a "scene" and that's it, but for me it is just not enough.