Rape fantasies: no, I don't think everyone has this. i say tis knowing a few girls who have gone through real rape (you probably know a dozen or two; they're everywhere) and most of them do NOT fantasize about it. I had a best friend to whom that happened and it was wierd because on the on hand I knew about her and on the other she knew about me. An odd conflict or interests?

Non-verbal safes: Yup, I know about that, but that's for nothing it. Neither me nor Al is really expierienced enough to feel comfortable with a gag for too long or for too much, just because we're pretty big on feedback and comunication and all. The simple fact is that he can't read me well enough (he's too far away to have developped an intuition like that yet) for him to be able to tell when I'm feeling really good or really bad without me telling him sometime. Especially because to him they often look and sound the same. Machoism is funny the way it makes you cry but you don't want it to stop.... and I'm a lot heavier into this then he is, so he's very cautious.

It's all about confidence and comfort. *I'm* sure as hell not going to push anything.