i flirted with a poly relationship for a few months. i didn't get super involved in it so i'm not sure how valuable my take on it will be!

i was dating someone i knew to be poly. i've always been involved in monogamous relationships up until this point.

he had a primary sub. at the time we started dating, he had no true secondary sub but did have some other women in "the circle". eventually, he asked me to be the secondary.

after a month or so of thinking about it, i had to say no.

in an ideal world, it sounded nifty. having "sister" subs... being totally open with each other. there were lots of perks. built in friends! always something to do. lots of open communication. ultimately, though, i didn't like sharing. i didn't like being his tuesday night girl and someone else being his wednesday girl. i didn't like watching him play with other girls.

it was a tough decision because i really cared for him. but he was sharing emotional stuff with too many people. things were really divided. i like to think i'm fairly drama free but jealousy did rear its ugly head a few times...

so i guess you need to be really clear on what you want, what she's bringing to your relationship.

take care.