I have made a huge mistake...

[Buttons.the.kitty]

Thank you all again.

We've talked. He is okay with me going to coffee meets and the like as long as my interactions with the group stay on a strictly platonic level. He's not okay with me going to play parties, with or without him - I can understand and respect that. While I am very curious about what goes on at these parties, I can live without finding out.

The question now is when and how we will begin exploring BDSM together. He has absolutely no experience with it, and my experience is limited to three scenes with a guy (Ethan, if any of you remember me talking about him) who was also rather inexperienced.

I know that he is very uncertain about this. He is afraid of losing control of himself and going too far if he takes on a Dominant role. Added to this, a couple days ago a friend of his, who he thought he knew, beat his girlfriend really badly. So now James has that connection in his head, even though he understands that BDSM is not abuse.

Since I am the more experienced one here (as little as that may be), and by far the more confident about it, I feel like I'm going to have to take the lead role in us getting started with this. I'm trying to figure out how to ease him into it without just ending up 'topping from the bottom'. Any ideas?