you stop whatever you are doing, to give this object (real or conceptual) your undivided attention. For instance, I enjoy holding my him by his hair. Not a fetish, I can get on with life without holding his hair. An example of a fetish with me.. a little hard to identify, I am not very fetishistic or religious, but... I don't think I could stop spanking him (within normal limits) if I didn't get some really nice color/marks. If I tried to stop I would probably have to go back and restart, until I had marks I liked. So that would be a fetish.