How did you know?

[cariad]

Contrasting paranoia, or self doubt is very difficult to work with when the submissive feels this way. Not only does she not trust me as the Dom. She doesn't trust herself as the submissive. When the submissive doesn't have trust in the Dom or herself, it makes it diffucult for her to actually submit, in a scene or in a relationship.

In my limited experience of different Doms, a great one will go out of his way to reassure my self doubt. No matter how much my logical mind tells me I am okay, particularly when I am wearing my submissive hat, I need that prop. It is also part of my process of establishing trust with someone - that I have shown him some of my vulnerability and he has supported it. A case of if I can trust him something small then I can trust him something bigger.

I know this put the onus onto the Dom, but particularly when the sub is new to this lifestyle I think it is something he has to face. I would add that the same can apply if an experienced sub is playing with a novice Dom.

So Kelly - find someone who cares for you enough to earn your trust - and if he does not - then leave!

cariad