I have worked damn hard at finally getting myself into a position of independence. Can look at myself and think, yeah I'm worth having around, I'm strong, and worthwile and truth be told, my ass looks a bit of alright in a pair of tight jeans! Yet on the other hand I want to give that away by inviting someone to treat me like their whore. Is it possible to be both?
Just passing on something my domly one told me the other day when I asked him what he was looking for in a woman...and among other things he said he's looking for a strong woman. Sounds strange at first glance coming from a dom, eh? But it does make sense. The balance of having a strong, independant woman that chooses to submit to one person only, makes it even more of a gift, doesn't it?

So, no...I don't think you have to give up one for the other. I personally feel stronger as a submissive than I did before. And if your dom is a good one he'll help you with your reluctance of using a safeword if you need it... Being a submissive - to me - is not about being weak, saying yes and amen to everything or to give up who you are. It's about transfering power to someone you love and on terms your both consent to, it's about letting go and giving up control because it feels amazingly good, not because you're weak.

Hell, that was hard to put in words, lol. But it cleared up some thoughts for me, too. Thank you for that, kelly.