Yeah, Matin, this is one of those contradictions about D/s, isn't it... You want to support her, shore up as you say her independence; yet the very nature of D/s means that the sub tends more and more to become emotionally dependent on their Dom.

So, the tricky bit... is how to ensure that she becomes dependent on you FOR her independence! Gradually building up her confidence in herself.

Well, I would recommend staying away from any humiliation play. I would recommend guiding and assisting and supporting her in areas where she is weak (frightened, unsure of herself), actually helping her to be independent out there in the big bad world, but ensuring that at the same time, she retains the emotional link with you. That supports her, and allows you to have the sense of ownership. (I carefully avoid the word control, right there.)

By 'the emotional link' I mean symbols, to her, of your relationship; as simple as a day collar or other piece of jewellery; or little tasks like going out to do something independent, but wearing geisha balls or a tiny bit of cordage or specific clothing. This is not to play - it is just to mark the link between the two of you. It is not abuse, if she is gaining strength from your emotional presence.

And of course always, always, always congratulate her when she shows the spirit you are hoping to nurture!

Over time, her emotional dependence will still be there, but it will become gradually a more 'normal' sort, as her confidence in herself grows - every couple, BDSM or not, has a symbiotic relationship of need, to some extent. And as her confidence (in herself and in you) grows, her ability to give more of herself into your hands will grow, in a healthy manner.