Quote Originally Posted by jeanne View Post
Keeping vital information to ourselves, and then placing ourselves in a situation that could cause some unexpected consequences, is an awful thing to do. I would think a perfect example would be a submissive who had been a victim of rape. Not telling her Dom about the rape and then consenting to a 'rape scene' is a selfish, abusive act. Anything could happen when the re-enactment occurs, and putting that depth of responsibility on another human being - without their consent - is abusive.

I think the behavior of the rape victim in this particular situation is so self-abusive it makes the abuse of the Dom a secondary issue.

But I don't see any of this as being problematic only to a bdsm lifestyle. Human beings, using distortions, deceptions, subterfuge, subtlety, beguilement, along with a whole bag of other tricks, have been abusive to close relations since time began. Parent against child, Brother against sister, Husband against wife.......the list goes on.....it is not isolated to only Dom and sub.

However Jeanne, you may not have meant this quite the way I am interpreting it......or your point may not be the one I took.

DIXIE