Confused?

[Euryleia]

I agree with the other posters--communicate, communicate, communicate. Find a way that works for you both through trial and error. One way, that has helped me with those new to the lifestyle is giving her a choice that she has to make to continue. Reward her each and every time she tells you what she wants--even if you might not like it.

Also, use a hard/soft limit questionaire to find out some of her fantasies and to figure out where to go next. There are few available online and one here: Hard limit questionaire

It sounds like she needs to feel safe before she will be able to take ownership of her desires. Provide her that safety and you'll have her heart, mind and soul.